Finding your kind of people

Making new friends is something many people associate with childhood, university or the workplace rather than later life. There is also a perception that women are often more proactive than men when it comes to joining groups, building social networks and keeping in touch. 

Yet our male homeowners often tell a different story. Between them, they have formed quiz teams, organised theatre trips, joined walking groups, shared lunches, rediscovered old hobbies and built friendships that have become an important part of everyday life and their experiences highlight the value of community, companionship and meaningful social connections. 

At Broadleaf House, homeowners Rob and Tony are a good example of how new friendships can develop. 

Both men enjoyed successful careers that took them around the world. Rob built a thriving ceramics business and travelled extensively in search of the finest tiles, while Tony’s career as a chartered surveyor saw him working across the Middle East, Asia and the Caribbean. 

Neither moved to Broadleaf House specifically looking for friendship, yet it has become one of the most rewarding aspects of community life. 

“I’ve palled up with Rob,” Tony said. “We’ve got similar outlooks on life.” 

Today, the pair regularly enjoy lunch together in the restaurant, organise theatre trips and spend time chatting in the gardens, often accompanied by Rob’s dog Toby. 

For Rob, the social side of community living has been one of the biggest surprises. 

“Loneliness has gone,” he said. “I see more people now than in the previous twenty years. You keep your independence, you gain companionship, and you shrug off the worry.” 

His weeks are now filled with bridge games, exercise classes, lunches with friends and walks around the landscaped gardens. He has even started a regular bingo session for fellow homeowners. 

“Being part of the community is a huge plus,” Rob said. “The activities really help foster that sense of connection. You can get as involved as you want without feeling pressured. That was important to me.” 

Tony appreciates the same balance between friendship and independence. 

“The beauty of this place is you can do exactly what you feel,” he explained. “If you want to walk around the garden, sit in the breeze house, you can just do whatever you want to.” 

 

An unexpected benefit

Their friendship is just one example of how easily connections can develop when people share spaces, interests and experiences. A coffee after lunch becomes a regular catch up, while a conversation in the homeowners’ lounge turns into a theatre trip or a new friendship. 

For David at The Spindles and Frank at Brookfields House, community was every bit as important as the apartment itself.  

While both appreciated the practical benefits of leaving behind larger properties, they were ultimately looking for something more meaningful: a place where friendships, conversation and shared experiences could become part of everyday life. 

A retired accountant with a lifelong passion for history, amateur dramatics and community involvement, David initially considered buying a bungalow but realised he was looking for something more than simply a smaller property. 

“I got to the point where I thought: ‘David, what are you cleaning four bedrooms for?’” David said. 

Since moving to The Spindles, he has embraced community life, enjoying daily lunches in the restaurant, quizzes, coffee with neighbours and time spent in the communal spaces. 

“The camaraderie is one of the best things about living here, without a doubt, because I see far more people than I ever did,” David said. “There’s a real community spirit and we’re just having more fun.” 

Frank reached a similar conclusion when considering his next move. A keen traveller who has returned to both India and Nepal since moving, Frank enjoys the freedom of knowing he can simply lock the door and leave without worrying about his home.  

“What I needed was a community,” he said. 

Since moving to Brookfields House, he has made new friendships, joined the book club, resumed travelling and enjoys the freedom of being able to travel without worrying about home maintenance or security. 

“The greatest benefit has been the improvement to my well-being,” Frank explained. “Humans need community.” 

 

More time for what matters 

One of the recurring themes among all these homeowners is that retirement living has enabled them to spend more time doing the things they enjoy and less time worrying about the practical responsibilities that come with maintaining larger properties. 

For some, that means travelling more frequently. For others, it means spending more time pursuing hobbies, joining activities or simply enjoying good company. 

Dr Trevor at The Sidings has embraced all of those opportunities since moving. 

A former doctor with a lifelong love of opera, amateur dramatics and cricket, Trevor quickly became involved in community life, joining quiz nights, film evenings, exercise classes, chess games and even a boules club. 

“I’m more socially active here than I have been for a long time,” Dr Trevor explained. “We had a tremendous night last night. It sounds twee, but we played dominoes and a couple of us finished a bottle of wine between us.” 

For Trevor, the stimulation that comes from being around other people and continuing to engage with new activities and conversations has been particularly valuable. “I think one of the big benefits of moving to a retirement community is the stimulus of other people at this time of life,” he explained. “If somebody has been on their own, as I know very well, you can sink into not wanting to do anything.” 

 

The value of staying connected 

Whether it is joining a walking group, attending a quiz night, discussing books, playing chess, going to the theatre or simply stopping for a coffee and a chat, all homeowners speak about the value of connection and having people around them. 

The friendships they have formed are important, but none of them moved looking for a busier social calendar. What they value is the freedom to live life on their own terms, with friendship and support close at hand whenever they choose. 

Each homeowner continues to lead their own life, pursue their own interests and enjoy their own routines. The difference is knowing there is always somebody nearby for a conversation, a coffee or a shared experience. 

As David reflected on his move to The Spindles: “There are lots of ‘first times’ for everything. But I quickly discovered that you can just go and sit with other people and everybody’s very welcoming.” 

Looking across these stories, the common thread is not the activity. It is the simple pleasure of having people around you. People to share interests with, laugh with, swap stories with and spend time with when the mood takes you. 

Sometimes, finding your kind of people can happen when you least expect it. 

 

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