Lesley

Lesley moved to The Newells in November 2023 to maintain her independent lifestyle with support in place for the future.

“I’m 75 but in my head, I’m still 25.”

Early life

Born in Lancashire, Lesley’s family moved to Dunstable when she was nine.

“I was born in Oldham, but my mother came from Fenny Stratford, near Bletchley. She met my father during the war. When we moved back, my father got a job in Luton and bought a house in Dunstable, where he and my mother lived for the rest of their lives.

“Although I grew up in Dunstable, I still consider myself a northerner. I went to university in Manchester, studying French, Spanish, and a bit of Latin. A group of us used to go to concerts and the theatre – that’s how I met my husband, Nigel.

“After university, Nigel taught chemistry. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I didn’t want to teach, so I did a postgraduate secretarial course. My first job was as a bilingual secretary for L’Oréal, based in Leighton Buzzard. When they moved to South Wales, I joined an architectural firm in Bedford.”

After they married, Lesley and Nigel rented a schoolhouse in Millbrook.

“When we were ready to buy, we wanted something with character but couldn’t afford it, so we bought a derelict chapel in North Crawley and did a lot of the work ourselves. Our daughter, Victoria, was born in June 1978. A few years later, we bought a plot of land and built our own house. By the time we moved in, Victoria had started school.

“I worked for a German engineering company for 34 years. I was responsible for our first ever computer and went on a two-week training course at IBM for the installation of this thing, which was almost the size of a room. By the time I left, we were all using PCs.”

 

Ice Skating

When Victoria wanted to skate, Lesley took her for lessons every Saturday.

“I loved the atmosphere. One day, I heard the European Championships would be in Birmingham, so I booked a week off work, went and got absolutely hooked.

“In 1992 I heard about a trip to the World Championships in San Francisco. Sadly, my father had passed away, so my mum and I decided to go. I started a newsletter and did that for 10 years, travelling to all the British competitions. I also wrote a column for an American magazine and translated for a French magazine from the mid-90s to 2020. Skating became my escape from work and everyday life. Those trips were my holidays. I took Mum along until it became too much for her. I also made friends, and it kept me very involved.”

Nigel

Nigel and Lesley had separate interests.

“He collected oil lamps, and there’s a global community around historic lighting. He’d go to America every year for a two-week conference, which worked well for us.

Sadly, Nigel’s health declined suddenly at 70.

“When Nigel was 14, he’d had rheumatic fever, and they always told him that he might have heart issues. When he was 70, he needed a replacement heart valve. Afterwards, he wouldn’t move or go for walks. He just gave up. He died in 2018 at 71.

“After selling our family house, I bought a small terrace in Bedford, near to where I worked. My mother had passed in 2014, and selling both houses freed up money to buy my daughter a bungalow in Norfolk. She and her husband, who’s partially disabled, moved just before lockdown.”

Lesley’s mother

Lesley’s mother influenced her decision to move to a retirement community.

“I swore I wouldn’t do what Mum did. She stayed in a big house she couldn’t manage. She was often alone, and I think she missed out by not using her money. She had two storage heaters and no heating in her kitchen. She would never admit it, but I’m sure she was cold sometimes.

“We took her to see flats she said would be ‘ideal if I was going to move,’ but she wouldn’t move. She was dependent on her neighbours and on us. My brother used to take her to appointments, and I used to deliver her meals so that she could heat them up in the microwave.

“I know that nobody’s going to do that for me, so I’ve made my plans accordingly. That’s one of the reasons I’m here.”

A series of unfortunate events

Several events led Lesley to consider the support she might need in the future.

“After I moved to Bedford, I fell down the stairs in the middle of the night and cracked two vertebrae in my neck. I spent two months in a neck brace.

“Then I had surgery on my eye for glaucoma and the trabeculectomy didn’t go well, so I couldn’t drive for a while.

“In 2021 after the lockdowns, Victoria and I went on holiday to Blackpool. Afterwards, Victoria started to feel unwell and within 24 hours, she was on a ventilator with streptococcal pneumonia. She spent two months in ICU, another month in the hospital, and now uses a mobility scooter. Her memory was also affected.

“All these events influenced my decision to move.

“I wanted to move while I still have the energy and remain independent. Victoria has enough to cope with, and I knew she couldn’t look after me like I looked after my mother.

“I’d always liked the idea of a community and Adlington felt right. I’ve learned over the years to trust my instincts and my instincts told me this was the right place.”

Future proofing

“Sometimes when I phoned Mum, she’d say, ‘I haven’t talked to anybody all day.’

“After I fell down the stairs, I understood. If anything like that happened and I couldn’t get myself up, I could be there for a week, and nobody would know.

“Here, if I haven’t been seen for 48 hours, the team checks in. It’s so good. There are alarms that you can press if you need help. You can wear a pendant, but I don’t feel I need that yet. There are buttons in the apartment, even one in the bathroom at floor level. It just gives you peace of mind. You know that there’s help here if you ever need it.

Financial decisions

Having managed finances at home and work, Lesley considered the costs of retirement living and saw the value.

“Some people said, ‘Financially, it doesn’t make sense. You’ll lose money.’ But I said, ‘It’s not a financial investment. It’s a place where I know I’ll be comfortable and safe in my final years without worrying about maintenance, gardening or anything else.’

“My friends and I all agree it was the right thing to do.

“I’ve always handled finances, so I know what I’m doing. I think it’s better to use my money now instead of leaving it in a bank account for somebody. Victoria’s already had our help to provide a mortgage-free house.

“People assume you downsize from a big house to fund this, but for me, I had to supplement the cost. You need a certain income to support living here. I’m lucky to have that through my late husband’s pension. I’ve always lived within my means, so I know how to manage.

Life at The Newells

After moving, Lesley immediately felt more secure.

“I’ve spoken to my friends here and we all started to sleep better after we moved in. It’s the security and the fact that there’s a duty manager on site 24 hours a day.

“I’ve already made good friends with the other homeowners here. We talk all the time. Last night we chatted until 9pm, then met for coffee at 11am and picked up where we left off. We laugh a lot.

“I’ve always been active, but usually on my own. Now I have a much better social life.

“Even if you’re just putting the rubbish out, you’ll exchange a few words with somebody. The staff are always really pleasant and chatty. It sounds funny, but just a few words with somebody can really lift your mood.

“I love the location too. You’ve got to bear in mind that you may not always be able to drive. Here, the buses run frequently to Bedford and Milton Keynes, and from there you can get to Cambridge. It’s also easy to get to Milton Keynes railway station, which is on the West Coast main line, or Bedford Station, which goes to the East Midlands.”

Staying active

Lesley continues activities she enjoyed before moving, along with new ones with friends and neighbours.

“I’ve always loved the theatre, and now I go even more. There’s a community theatre called The Place, and they have some great productions.

“Later this month, we’re going to Bletchley Park. Garry, our general manager organised that. I’ve been a friend of Bletchley Park for years. Every time I go, I learn something new.

“Here at The Newells there are plenty of things to join if you want to. It’s entirely your choice.

“I think that that’s the secret to a happy retirement. Staying mentally active. Staying interested in things.

“We have a chair yoga group on Thursday mornings, games evenings, quizzes, movie nights and we all tend to get together for Sunday lunch. We sat outside with coffee after lunch last week and by the time we finished talking it was half past six.

“My U3A group is very active, with over 1,000 members. It was the first thing I joined when I retired. I’ve been treasurer for six years and am just handing that on to another volunteer now. It keeps the brain going. That that’s what I like about the U3A.

“We have interest groups, and I belong to the local history group and arts groups. We see shows at The Place, The Quarry Theatre, or the Higgins Museum. There’s an awful lot to do in Bedford.”

Five-star facilities

Lesley’s friends enjoy visiting her new home.

“Every time I bring a friend round, they say, ‘Oh, this is like a lovely hotel.’ And if I ask them where they’d like to go for lunch, they always prefer to come to the restaurant here.

“I usually cook for myself, but it’s nice to know you can walk in and have a light bite or lunch in the restaurant when you fancy it. I have lunch there every Sunday, so I probably use it a couple of times a week.

“The apartment I chose was probably bigger than I needed, but it’s on the corner and has a big balcony, lots of windows and a nice a big kitchen. It’s light and airy, that’s why I went for it. Being on the corner, I’ve got windows on two sides as well as the balcony. I love to ‘people watch’. You can see life here. You’re right at the heart of the community.

“We also have less to worry about here. Before moving here, my friend Sylvia had a big garden with a lot of trees. She’s been thinking about that because we’ve had a lot of wind recently and her family keeps reminding her that it’s not her problem anymore.

“Whenever I had to arrange repairs on my old house I’d always worry ‘is somebody going to rip me off?’ or sometimes if it was a small job, I couldn’t get it done at all. Here, you don’t have to worry. It’s all done for you.”

“It’s important to think about the future because you never know how your health may deteriorate. Some people say ‘Oh, I’m not really ready for this yet.’ But I’d say do it while you’ve still got the energy, before you’re ready. Because if you wait 10 years, you’ll be less inclined to do it. Physically, you’ll find it so much harder.

“I think it’s important not to just think of the financial aspect. Think about how comfortable you’re going to be, how easy your life’s going to be. If at some point you can’t drive or you lose your spouse, you know there are always going be people here, and that will help.”