Dr Cath

Dr Cath, aged 80, appreciates having a supportive community since she moved to The Sidings, in Lytham, in February 2023.

“It all seemed to just work from the moment I moved in really. The staff are all so lovely and they make you feel happy. It makes life worth living, being here.”

 Family life 

 Born in Sheffield, Cath’s family moved to Blackpool when she was four.  

“My sister, Jen, had brain-damage from birth and the doctors in Sheffield told my parents if they moved to the coast the fresh air would be good for her. I went to school at Queen Mary’s in St Anne’s and then went to Manchester Medical School for five years. 

“I met my husband, Peter, when I had just left Queen Mary’s and we were together from then onwards. He was a year older than I was, so he was already at university at Oxford.  

He proposed to me on his 21st birthday. At the time I said ‘I can’t be getting married at this stage. I’ve still got three years to go at medical school’, so we waited until I’d qualified in 1966 and we married in October 1967.  

“My father died about seven months after I qualified, which left poor Mum on her own with my sister, who needed full time care. I wanted to be nearby to help, and my parents had a house with a big garden, so we built a Dorma bungalow in the garden. Peter and I lived there for 50 years. We sold it in October 2022.  

“Peter worked for George Wimpy, the builders, for about three years. He was working in London, and I didn’t want to move there because of my sister. So, he gave up his job and came back up north. His father was a craftsman builder, a joiner, and had a business. He was at an age when he was about to retire anyway, so Peter took over the family business in Blackburn. 

“We had our daughter, Clare, in November 1975, and seven months after she was born, my mum died unexpectedly. That left my sister on her own, so she came to live with us for five years. We had my son in 1978, and it was difficult having a job, two children and caring for my sister as well. Eventually we had to let Jen go into a care home which was hard but that’s how we managed things. She used to come and stay with us at weekends, and she loved the children, so it was nice that she was able to enjoy them. She lived until she was 69 which was quite remarkable. She played a large part in our lives.” 

Deciding to downsize 

Before moving to The Sidings, Cath and Peter had already moved out of their family home. 

“I persuaded Peter that it was time to downsize a bit and my theory at the time was that if we sold the house, we’d have a bit of capital and we’d always enjoyed cruising so we could do more of that.  

“We bought a flat in the old Queen Mary’s Girls’ School that I’d been a pupil of. It was a very nice flat, but the minute we bought it, Peter started being ill. It turned out he had a very virulent form of lung cancer. He was offered chemotherapy and decided to try it, but after the first treatment he got a terrible infection and within a week of having the chemo, he died.  

“After that, I didn’t want to live there anymore. Clare said to me, ‘Mum, I think you’d be better in a retirement community’ because although there were about 20 apartments there, there was no interaction with any other occupants. You might say hello but that was it. And anyway, there were just too many unhappy memories of the time that we had there so we started looking around.” 

First impressions of The Sidings 

Cath came to look at The Sidings with her daughter, who lives locally.  

“We had a look at some other retirement communities too, but this was my favourite option from the minute I came here. The whole ambience of the place was so good. It was obvious that there were a lot of social activities and opportunities to meet people. This was my choice from the beginning, so we put Queen’s Manor on the market. 

“I liked the homeowners lounge and the restaurant. I use it quite often now. Not every day but probably two or three times a week I go in for lunch. I liked having a hairdresser who comes in and I now use the hair salon regularly. She does facials as well, so I’ve had a couple of those. We have those in the therapy suite.  

“I chose a one-bedroom apartment and it’s perfect for me. My apartment is very comfy and cosy, and I overlook the gardens. I have a balcony. If the family come down to visit, they tend to stay with my daughter-in-law’s parents who live nearby but my son has also stayed in the guest suite here, which makes life a lot easier. 

“I also really like the location here. I can pop into Booths. I can walk into Lytham to the shops because it’s not too far. That’s a big advantage because when I was at Queen’s Manor it was quite a long way to the nearest shops, and I don’t drive anymore. So having all the facilities on your doorstep is really good.” 

Finding a supportive community 

Being surrounded by a supportive community and good friends has been invaluable to Cath. 

“Since moving here I’ve made good friends. I became good friends with Dot from the beginning. She’s nine years older than me and we come from totally different backgrounds. She’s been a dancer and an ice-skater. We just get on well together, so she quite often asks if I’m going for lunch. I go to her weekly rhythmic chair-based exercise class in the activities room. We all enjoy it. Even the men go. It’s important to keep moving and Dot’s class is very popular.  

“There’s another homeowner here, Trevor, who I’ve known since I first qualified. He remembered me from when I first started working at the hospital. He was the senior house officer during my residency. So that’s been great.  

“You do get to a point when your life changes completely, and you feel as though you’re no longer of much use to anybody. When you reach a certain age, it’s very hard to accept that you can’t do the things that you used to do. It can be quite demoralising, so being amongst people who are of a similar situation in life, it helps a lot and makes you feel better. 

“I enjoy sitting in the coffee lounge and chatting with people. It’s nice to be in a lovely environment and not to have to worry about doing anything. 

“I had my 80th birthday party here in June last year. We had a buffet in the homeowners’ lounge and that went very well. All the family came and quite a few friends. There must have been 30 or 40 people. I had quite a big birthday cake and plenty of prosecco. It was lovely. 

With a busy social calendar of events, there’s always something to look forward to at The Sidings. 

“I thoroughly enjoy the special themed evenings that we have. We had a Spanish tapas evening recently and we all drank far too much wine. Some of the homeowners are very good at dressing up for these occasions to accompany the theme. One of the ladies came with a very colourful skirt and a flower in her hair and a black lace fan. There was some Spanish music too. There have been a few other themes and I’ve been to most of them. We had a Greek one and a Turkish one, with a professional belly-dancer. We have some nice food and we had Sangria with the Spanish evening and various other aperitifs to suit each theme. 

“The gardens are lovely. We have quite a few people who grow tomatoes and herbs in the raised beds. I always enjoyed gardening, but I’ve had a bit of a problem with my lower back recently which restricts what I can do. I don’t get involved with the actual gardening, but it’s nice to observe. There’s a sunny spot, which is quite sheltered, by the greenhouse, and I enjoy sitting there. There’s the summer house too that you can sit out in. Some people have a lunch in there on a nice day.” 

Help on hand 

Another aspect of moving to a retirement community that appealed to Cath was the added peace of mind for her and her children from feeling safe and secure. 

“Having somebody available 24 hours a day is extremely important. You know there’s help on hand if required. I find that very reassuring. 

“It’s good for my daughter and my son too. It’s as important for them as it is for me. They know that there is somebody around if I should need any assistance. It takes the weight off their shoulders. 

“I haven’t required any care support but it’s very reassuring again that there is that option if you need it. We had carers for my sister. When she lived with us, I would have people coming in while I was working. So, I know the importance of care as and when you need it.” 

Cath also appreciates not having to worry about the maintenance or upkeep of the building. 

“Before Peter and I moved to the flat, I knew that the upkeep of the house and garden would be a burden if I was there on my own. Because of his building background, he’d always taken charge of that aspect of the home. I knew that the house was 50 years old and there were things that needed doing to it and I would have been unable to cope with getting that sorted. So having that weight taken off your shoulders is very good.” 

Value for money 

“We certainly took the financial side of things into account when I bought here but felt at the end of the day, for what you were paying, you were getting good value for money. I think it’s well worth it. 

“One thing that might put some people off is that you pay a percentage back when you sell the apartment but there again, you can understand that that’s important to maintain the quality of the building and that helps to sell the property on or sell your apartment on. When Clare and I went to look at other retirement properties, you could tell that some of them were looking a bit tired. I know it’s a new building here, but it’s immaculate. 

The best move 

“One of the biggest benefits since moving here is not being isolated and having the support of the staff and the friendships. That’s a big part of living here. You can choose to be on your own if you want to but if not, you can go and find somebody and have a coffee with them and a chat.  

“Undoubtedly this has been the best move for me because it’s just such a lovely place. The staff are lovely, all of them. And the other homeowners are too. My friends who come to stay think it’s a lovely place to be, and in fact one of my very good friends from school days has put a deposit down on an apartment here. Another one of my friends came yesterday and she’s thinking of putting her house on the market too and possibly moving here. I’ve got no regrets whatsoever. I’m happy here.”