Ursula and her daughter Steffie

Ursula and daughter Steffie on life at The Woodlands: “It feels like being on permanent holiday”

When Ursula moved to The Woodlands in February 2023, she brought with her 52 years of memories from the London house where she and her late husband, David, raised their family, made music and built a life.

She had sworn she would never leave London, but today, two and a half years on, sitting in her apartment at The Woodlands, she says: “It feels like being on permanent holiday here.”

Her daughter Steffie and her family, who live just 15 minutes away, were a key part of the decision. They supported Ursula through the search, the move and the settling-in period. Now Steffie enjoys spending time with her every week and even runs a regular art class for other homeowners.

A life rooted in London, family and music

For most of her life, Ursula believed she would never move.

“I always swore that I would never move from London, because I had a lovely house which I liked very much, and lots of friends, lots of activities, and the church. I was very established. I lived in that house for 52 years.”

Music has been the thread running through Ursula’s life. She and her late husband, David, first met at University College London.

“He was reading law, and I was reading German. There was an orchestra, and we were both in it. He played the violin; I played the clarinet.

“I was rather keen on somebody else at the time. I remember, I threw something at him, and as I looked, I saw David grinning, and I thought, that’s a rather nice grin.”

That grin turned into a lifelong partnership. Their home in East Sheen became a gathering place for ensembles.

“We belonged to a music group. When our friend who led the group went back to Germany, we took it over and ran it for many years. It ended up as a quartet with the two of us playing violin and recorder, plus a cellist, and another friend who played either the violin or viola.”

When home becomes hard work

Despite her determination to stay, the house itself eventually tipped the balance.

“Predictably, things began to go wrong. I was beginning to think it ought to have a complete rewire. It probably needed a new roof. At 92, I thought, I don’t really want the hassle of this.”

Steffie and her brother Martin shared her concern.

“We were worried about the state of the house. The final clincher was when Mum was getting leaks into the bedroom. That was going to be a big job. Supporting her from a distance, me from Greater Manchester and Martin from Scotland, was getting harder and harder.”

For Ursula, the thought of moving was daunting.

“I’m a hoarder. I’m very untidy. I couldn’t see how I was ever going to move, and that was one of the things that had been holding me back, not knowing where to start.”

The family rallied round.

“Martin and Steffie came down alternate weekends and helped me declutter and take things to the tip and the charity shops.”

The memory of German friends who had thrived in a retirement community decades earlier also helped her reimagine what a move might mean.

“I remember saying to David in the 1980s, when we visited them, there’s absolutely nothing like this in England. At that time, there wasn’t.”

Choosing The Woodlands

Once Ursula decided to look, Steffie set up viewings at three retirement communities.

“The first two places were a ‘no’ from the start. They were badly designed. I couldn’t see myself living there. Then I came here and I thought, yes, I could see myself living here. I came back the following day with Martin, and we saw some two-bedroom apartments. As soon as I looked out and saw the garden, I fell in love with it.”

For Ursula, one factor mattered above all.

“If I’m going to move, I want to be somewhere where I feel safe, with backup.”

That was equally important to her children.

Steffie explained: “One of the other places we saw only had a manager there on weekdays from nine to five, and she was on long-term sick leave. If you had a fall, there was no-one. Here, there’s 24-hour cover, and that gave us peace of mind.”

Even before she moved in, the warmth of the community made a difference.

Ursula said: “On my second visit with Martin, we met Gillian, a homeowner. She said, ‘Do you go to church?’ I said yes. ‘Do you have a car?’ I said no. She said, ‘If you want a lift, I’ll take you.’ So, before I even came here, I knew I’d be able to get a lift to church.”

Making a daunting move manageable

After 52 years in one house, careful planning was essential.

“Steffie’s cousin suggested making a scale plan of the apartment. Steffie came down three weeks before moving, we measured all the furniture, and worked out what was going where.”

Practical help smoothed the way.

“Adlington arranged help from The Senior Move Partnership. That was invaluable. On moving day, she got the Wi-Fi going, put up lampshades, directed where things needed to go, and helped unpack boxes. I thought it would take a year to sort everything, but with Steffie and Martin’s help, and the move team, I managed it in less than six months.”

Little touches made a big impact.

“We could come in to see the apartment before I moved in and that was really helpful. I wanted curtains, so I chose materials, and they put them up before I arrived. That made such a difference. Within 24 hours it felt like home.”

Life now: ease, friendship and peace of mind

Two and a half years later, Ursula still feels as positive as she did on her first day.

“It feels like being on permanent holiday here. The garden is beautifully kept, all on the level. When I want to go for a walk, I do one and a half times round, stop at the raised beds to rest, then go back. Here, everything is on site so I don’t have to go out to keep active.”

Daily reassurance is built in.

“I have a visit every morning from one of the duty managers, just to say hello, see if I’m OK, have a bit of a chat.”

There has been real support in moments of need.

“There was a time I was unwell, and Jacqui called the ambulance. Another time, I dropped a bottle of orange juice, and the floor was awash. Instead of being on my own at home wondering what to do, I rang the bell and the duty manager came and cleared everything up.”

And the everyday conveniences still delight.

“Cooking for one is boring! The restaurant means I always get a good meal. And having a hair salon on site is wonderful. I’d been to the same hairdresser for over 30 years. I didn’t think I’d ever find anyone as good, and she is as good, if not better.”

For Steffie, this everyday support is invaluable.

“Mum rarely gets stressed now, whereas she used to get really stressed with the house. When something needed fixing, she had to deal with strangers on the phone, and with her hearing that was hard. Here, John, the maintenance technician will come up, face to face. It makes life easy, and it reduces everyone’s worry.”

A community of friendship and fun

Far from being lonely, Ursula has found herself with a lively social diary.

“We have a weekly Rummikub session, a monthly Scrabble session, and I’ve introduced people to Canasta. There’s a fortnightly quiz, and a poetry evening, a film night. We have wine and cheese parties, Pimm’s parties, an ice cream party, a fish and chip night. And we’ve even had four shows – a Mummers play, a pantomime, one based on Hi-de-Hi, and another set on a cruise ship. They were absolutely fabulous.”

New friendships have surprised her.

“People say you can’t make new friends at this sort of age, but I’ve made some very good friends, which is lovely.”

The guest suite helps keep old friendships alive too.

“Some London friends have been up to stay, which is wonderful. It’s great having the guest suite.”

And some of the visitors have become music partners.

“One of Steffie’s friends from orchestra plays cello and recorder. The three of us have played together. A lot of Steffie’s friends have adopted me, which is really lovely.”

A daughter’s-eye view and an art class that became part of community life

Steffie has seen first-hand the difference The Woodlands has made.

“We just wanted somewhere where Mum was happy. That was what we were looking for. The staff were really friendly, and they’ve been wonderful, all of them. The whole thing makes life easy.”

Living nearby means she visits often, and over time she has brought something of her own to the community.

“I run an art group about every six weeks, which is open to all of the homeowners at The Woodlands. The focus is on enjoying art. Sometimes we draw plants from the garden using watercolour pencils or oil pastels. We’ve made mandalas from natural materials, worked with charcoal and pencil, and next time we’re focusing on butterflies. People often say it allows them to switch off and do something different. There’s no pressure, no right or wrong. It’s very relaxing, fun and sociable.”

Although Ursula doesn’t attend “I don’t want to cramp her style”, she enjoys seeing how her daughter’s sessions have become part of life at The Woodlands.

Practicalities and peace of mind

From maintenance to health, Ursula and Steffie agree the design and systems make a difference.

Steffie said: “It’s very well thought out. Everything is on a level, there are handrails everywhere, but it’s subtle. The bathroom is a wet room with all the alarm points. They do that really well. It just looks like a lovely modern place.”

Ursula added: “At home I was paying for someone to fix this or that. Here it’s included, and John is so helpful.”

Communication keeps everyone connected.

“We’ve got a WhatsApp group, and several times people have posted about scams to look out for. And the team here keep family contacts up to date, so if Mum has a fall, they know who to ring.”

The money question

For Ursula, the running costs are straightforward.

“The monthly fees may seem quite a lot, but you have very few expenses. My gas bill used to be huge; here it’s much smaller because the apartment is smaller and very well insulated. Cleaning in the communal areas is included. Insurance is lower, and I don’t have maintenance costs anymore. Money was going out of my hands trying to keep that old house going.”

Steffie has already found herself passing on this perspective.

“Some of my friends are starting to think about downsizing. People focus on the monthly fee but forget the expenses you don’t have to pay anymore. It isn’t as much as it first looks.”

Looking back and looking forward

Asked what she’d say to others, Ursula doesn’t hesitate.

“Go for it, don’t think twice. It’s got so many positives. You can be as independent as you like, as sociable as you like. I’m very positive about being here.”

Steffie echoes the sentiment, not only for her mum but for herself.

“Mum’s happy. That was the goal. And it’s lifted so much stress from us too. The whole thing makes life easy.”

Life now is full of small joys: puzzles and poetry evenings, strolls in the garden, lunch in the restaurant, music with friends, visits from family who can hop on the tram or stay in the guest suite, and “the occasional visit from my grown-up grandchildren when they are free, which is wonderful.”

Two and a half years on, life at The Woodlands is just as warm and fulfilling as those first impressions promised, giving Ursula comfort and her family peace.

 

 

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