Level Access Living
A New Lease of Life: Discovering the joy of level access living...
There often comes a moment when you start to wonder whether your current home still fits the life you want to lead.
But what happens if you’re ready to talk about a move and your partner isn’t? Or your family keep gently suggesting it, and you’re not sure how to respond?
For many couples, one partner reaches that point before the other. And often, it’s not just a decision for two, it’s a conversation that involves the whole family.
Grown-up children may want to help without overstepping, though their ideas might differ from yours.
It can be a delicate subject, but one worth exploring together.
When it comes to big life changes, it’s natural not to be on the same page. The key is to talk, and to really listen.
People often think about moving years before they act. One partner may be ready sooner than the other. What matters is understanding each other’s concerns and hopes.
Margaret and John, now living at The Woodlands in Heaton Mersey, found themselves in just that situation. Margaret explains:
“I was the one who wanted to move. John didn’t at first. I’ve got health issues that aren’t a problem now, but I know they could be in future. I didn’t want to wait for a crisis.
“I’m losing my sight. Our old house was big, with stairs and constant repairs. I knew my way around by heart, but I wanted a place I could settle into and grow familiar with before my sight goes.”
John was hesitant initially. “I thought we should wait another five years. But now we’ve moved, I think we did it at exactly the right time.”
Margaret adds, “I’ve seen my mother struggle. She’s nearly 96, living in a flat without a lift. She needs help now, and I just didn’t want to be in that position. This move lets us stay independent for longer.”
Homeowner Avril and her son, Duncan
For some people, talking about retirement living feels like giving something up. But in reality, it’s often the start of something better, with more freedom and less stress.
If you’re the one ready to talk to a partner, try opening the conversation gently. You might say:
It’s also important to talk to your children. It might feel like a role reversal, but these conversations can bring mutual understanding and support. You could openly share what the family home means to you, but also express what’s becoming difficult (e.g., stairs, garden upkeep, loneliness, safety worries).
The financial perspective is bound to become a topic in some form, so it’s helpful to reframe that with the investment you would be making into quality of life, well-being and independence. Freeing up equity from the family home may also allow for new experiences (travel, hobbies) or early gifting to children or grandchildren so a key consideration to discuss.
The reduced burden on your loved ones is also an important conversation, helping you all to understand the potential future stress of caregiving, home maintenance and emergency health needs.
If you are already worrying about an older parent, or loved one, consider leading with love, not logistics.
Anne, now living at Jacobs Gate in Sheffield, knows the value of keeping those family ties strong.
“I could’ve moved in with one of my children,” she says, “but I’d have ended up sitting on a sofa waiting for things to happen, and I’m not ready for that! Retirement living lets me keep my independence and a happy relationship with my family.”
For Trevor, it was encouragement from his sister and daughter that opened the door.
Homeowner Trevor, relaxing in the homeowner’s lounge
“I was rattling around a five-bedroom house alone,” he says. “My family were worried. My sister spotted an advert for The Sidings in Lytham and made an appointment for us to visit.”
Although the thought of selling the house was daunting, Trevor took the leap. “My house didn’t sell for six months, so I decided to part-exchange. I took a small hit financially, but the peace of mind was worth every penny.
“I’m so pleased I moved. I’ve got back to my normal self. I’ve made friends, and I enjoy chatting with people again. It’s a great community.”
Philip and Edna had lived in their Harpenden home for nearly 50 years. A fall on the stairs, and growing concerns from their daughters, led to a family conversation and a new beginning at The Sailings in Southport. Rachel, their daughter, explains:
“Mum was getting frail, and the stairs were steep. We were constantly worried.”
Their other daughter, Mary, adds: “Lockdown left them isolated. Mum missed the day-to-day interactions.”
A holiday to Scotland gave the family time to reflect. After visiting The Sailings, they knew it was the right fit.
“We probably should’ve moved 10 years earlier,” says Philip. “But we’re very happy here, and we’ve even recommended it to friends!”
Sue’s story is one of finding connection after grief, following the loss of her partner, Neil, deciding it was time to be closer to family.
Her son and daughter-in-law found The Woodlands and encouraged her to take a look.
“Within two days of moving in, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Everyone’s so friendly. If I were giving advice, I’d say; don’t wait too long. Do it while you still have the energy to enjoy it.”
Many homeowners also speak of the comfort that comes from knowing support is available if it’s ever needed.
Anne, who moved to The Sidings after the loss of her husband and son, wanted that reassurance, not only for herself, but for her family.
“I was in a big bungalow with a huge garden. It felt empty. My sons don’t live nearby – one’s in Chester, one in Australia, and one in the States.
Homeowner Anne now enjoys quality time with new friends
“I wanted them to know I’d be all right. When I saw The Sidings, it just felt right. I shared it with the boys, and they were fully behind it.”
Anne continues, “I liked the idea of a 24/7 duty manager. I haven’t needed to call on them yet, but I might one day. It’s about futureproofing.”
“It really is the best of both worlds. I’ve still got my independence, and I don’t have to worry about hedges or home repairs anymore.”
Retirement living isn’t just a practical choice, it’s an emotional one.
A study published by ARCO (Associated Retirement Community Operators) in 2023 found that:
So, whether you or your loved ones bring it up first, the conversation matters, because, what you’re really discussing isn’t just a change of address, it’s a new chapter. One with more freedom, more time, and more peace of mind for you all.
Thinking about the future? Our monthly magazine, Adlington Life, might inspire.