As soon as I came here, I felt like I was living again

When Sheila moved to Radford House in Exeter in November 2025, she was one of the first homeowners to arrive. Less than a year later, she has made new friends, discovered new interests, welcomed family and old friends to stay and continued to head off on regular adventures in her motorhome with Lola, her four-year-old toy poodle. 

For Sheila, 71, the move was about making life easier, but also about making sure she could keep enjoying it. 

“I can honestly say that I didn’t realise that I was just existing at the other place. As soon as I came here, I felt like I was living again.” 

A life shared with Steve 

Originally from Leicester, Sheila left home at 18 when she married her first husband, who was in the Navy. The family moved frequently and her two children were born in Cornwall, where they lived for many years. 

After her first marriage ended, Sheila moved to North Devon for work. In 1997, she met Steve at a cheese and wine party at RNAS Culdrose. 

“We didn’t realise at first that we had friends in common. His best friends lived around the corner from me, and we all went to a cheese and wine party at the mess. He asked me to dance and that’s how we met.” 

Both had been married before and neither was initially interested in marrying again. They spent several years travelling between their homes at weekends before Sheila found a job in Plymouth and announced that she was moving in. 

It was Sheila who eventually proposed. 

“It was coming up to a leap year and I thought, ‘I’m going to marry that man.’ I took him out for a meal and gave him a card. Inside I’d written, ‘Steve, I love you so much. Will you marry me?’ 

“He looked absolutely stunned. He went outside for a cigarette and I thought, ‘If he doesn’t come back, I know my answer!’ Eventually he gave the card back to me and he’d written inside, ‘Yes, yes, yes. I love you.’” 

They married in May 2009 and made their home in a barn conversion near Tavistock, surrounded by fields. 

In 2016, Steve was diagnosed with throat cancer. He died in June 2022. 

“He was such a lovely man. We talked about everything and he told me exactly what he wanted. He arranged everything and even wrote his own eulogy, thanking all his friends and family.” 

Steve also left something very special for Sheila. He gave her a USB stick and asked her not to look at it until after he had died. 

“There was a folder called ‘For Sheila after I’m gone’. There were about 12 little videos, from when he first started to be poorly until about three days before he died. 

“Some were practical things, like what to do if the Wi-Fi stopped working or where the stopcock was. In others he was just talking to me. There’s one where he says, ‘You’re going to get past this. You are going to go forward with my blessing.’ 

“That gave me permission to move forward. It took a while, but it helped me to know that he would be happy that I’ve moved here and I’m settled.” 

Knowing something needed to change 

Sheila remained in the home she and Steve had shared, but gradually the responsibilities that came with it began to outweigh the benefits. 

“The memories weren’t the house. I’ve brought them with me. The house was becoming a burden. Steve liked everything a certain way and he was a very good handyman. I felt as though I was tied to the property as its keeper.” 

There was always something to do. The grass could take all day to cut, two large wisterias needed regular attention and logs for two wood burners had to be moved and stacked. Even putting the bins out involved taking several containers in a wheelbarrow along a 900-yard drive and over a railway bridge. 

“There were just all those responsibilities. Because we had fields in front of us, we used to get quite strong winds and I’d lie awake at night thinking, ‘What if one of the tiles comes off? What am I going to do?’ It all just got too much.” 

Sheila was still enjoying trips away in the motorhome she and Steve had travelled in together. Just a few months after he died, she joined the Motor Caravanners’ Club, initially to find out whether she would feel confident using the motorhome alone. 

She did. Today, she is secretary of the local group and regularly joins rallies around Devon and Cornwall. 

“I’d go away and have a lovely weekend, but when I got back home I felt bereft again. There was nobody to tell, ‘I’ve had a great weekend.’ I thought something had to change.” 

Something had to change 

The turning point came when Sheila spent several weeks with her sister in Bridlington while their father was poorly. 

“There was so much there that we could walk to. We went to the theatre and cinema, did Aquafit and walked the dogs on the beach. I thought, ‘Actually, I’m really missing out here.’ 

“After my father died and I went home, it was like, ‘I’m not really living, I’m just existing.’ Since Steve died, the house had never really felt like a home. It felt like somewhere I resided.” 

Sheila began looking online at her options and discovered Radford House, then under construction in Exeter. The location immediately appealed. Her daughter lives nearby in St Thomas and Exeter offered the kind of accessible, connected lifestyle she had enjoyed while staying with her sister. 

She requested a brochure and visited the show apartment on 24 June 2025. 

“I just fell in love with it. I loved the spaciousness and the light. The bedrooms were a lovely size, and I didn’t want anything too huge because I’d had a big place and all it meant was a lot of cleaning. 

From her top floor apartment, Sheila can watch the sun rise on one side and set on the other. 

“My daughter took me down to the Quay and I thought, ‘This is perfect.’ I felt like a little girl in a sweet shop.” 

She went away to talk it through with her daughter, returned that afternoon and reserved her two-bedroom apartment. 

Before the move, Sheila worked through her belongings room by room. On the day itself, she had help unpacking her kitchen and getting everything into place, while her son and the team at Radford House helped with the rest. 

“There was a lady that helped me enormously when I moved in here. She unpacked the whole kitchen and took the boxes away and got rid of all the paper and packaging. That was amazing. 

“I also had help with finding the correct removal company and a storage unit for my motorhome.” 

Home, with Lola too 

One thing Sheila hadn’t expected was being able to bring Lola. 

“When I first came to have a look around, I didn’t think pets would be allowed. I asked the lady showing me around, ‘Of course you’re not pet friendly, are you?’ and she said, ‘Oh yes, we are.’ It was amazing. That really did put the top hat on it.” 

Lola had joined Sheila and Steve just a few months before Steve died. 

“Our other dog, Molly, had died and Steve kept saying, ‘You need a dog, Sheila.’ Lola came to us in February and Steve died in June, so he did meet her. And he was right. I did need a dog.” 

Today, Lola is very much part of life at Radford House. She and Sheila walk around Exeter Quay virtually every day and she has become a familiar face with homeowners and the team. 

“She loves it here and everybody loves her. One of my neighbours calls her her therapy dog and sometimes comes round and says, ‘I just need a cuddle from Lola.’ She’ll sit beside her and sometimes put her paw up as if to say, ‘Are you OK?’” 

The freedom to carry on 

Since moving, Sheila has found the balance she was looking for between having company close at hand and continuing to live independently. 

She enjoys art sessions and outings with other homeowners and has made close friendships, including with Hilary, who moved into Radford House the day before her. 

“I’ve got some very good friends and when I’ve got friends, I keep them. I’ve got friendships that go back 45 years. I’m interested in people and their lives, so it felt very natural to make good friends here too.” 

The restaurant has become an important part of that social life. 

“Right from the beginning I went into the restaurant every day. I didn’t mind sitting on my own. Then I asked Hilary if she wanted to join me for Sunday lunch and gradually more of us started having lunch at the same time. 

“Afterwards we’ll go into the coffee lounge and sit chatting over a coffee. Sometimes we can be there until early evening. It’s lovely.” 

At the same time, Sheila continues to see friends and family and head away regularly in her motorhome, with Lola joining her on her travels. 

“I don’t feel tied to the place. This is my home, but I still do everything I was doing before, going out in the motorhome and going to see family. I’m just carrying on with my life.” 

Friends and family are regular visitors too. Her sister stayed for ten days in the summer, joining Shelia for art sessions and film nights, while other friends have made use of her spare bedroom. 

Sheila feels more secure than she did in her previous home. 

“I feel very secure here. Before, we had no street lights and at night it was pitch black. If my neighbours were away, I was there totally on my own. Here, I just feel so comfortable.” 

Looking ahead 

For Sheila, moving at 71 was a positive choice about the future rather than something to put off until she needed more support. 

“If I tell people I live in a retirement community, they sometimes say, ‘You’re too young to live there.’ I say, ‘No, actually I’m futureproofing myself.’ 

“I don’t want to get to a point where I can’t run up the stairs or walk a long way and then move when it’s too late.” 

Being able to walk into Exeter, reach the Quay in minutes and have company available without having to drive were all part of that decision. 

“At my old home, I used to make myself leave the house and go to a café for a coffee because I felt I needed to be with people. Here, I don’t have to do that because I know I can go downstairs and there will be people I can see and have a chat with. 

“There will come a time when I can’t drive, so it’s a big positive that I can walk to places or get a taxi. I’ve got no regrets whatsoever about being here.”